Even in my weakness...

So this blog post was a draft I meant to publish a while back but when I rediscovered it in the midst of trying to find the draft I had started for tonight but had to stop in the first sentence due to I forgot i had a Latin quiz I needed to study for before bed. Now I see that there was another reason I had not published it. For whatever reason actually presented itself at the time...I ended up then forgetting about it and then when I really needed to be reminded of why even try...why even bother doing this and stressing myself out to catch up and set my life back in order... I found this. The reasons in this blogpost are why and I am so thankful for their truths:

This school year has generally been pretty hard, especially for my family. However, I know God is doing something in my life, and even though I'm not sure what it is, or why he's having to do it this way, He's in control. He's my God, my Savior, my Father. He loves me more than any human can, has, or ever will. Therefore, I will trust Him. I will praise Him in the storm. Alas, it will not be easy at all.  However, I know that He has given me the strength to do it, I just need to find the courage to muster it up and search myself to find it for Him. His goodness and glory. There are five songs that I absolutely love by Sidewalk Prophet and by Upsoken and Group One Crew. Three of them are "Run to You"( unspoken), "What He Said"( Group 1C.) and "Keep Making Me" (Sidewalk P.)  I'd have to say the two I love the most though are "Help Me Find It" (Sidewalk P.) and "Just to Get to Me".  The lyrics are:                                                                                                              

Just Get to Me:

I close my eyes Try to tell myself it'll be alright But my doubt in mind is against me now I can't hold it down I thought I was a strong man I don't wanna say that I'm fallin' apart I know I'm gonna break so what's it gonna take To get to my heart, oh, You are my heart And sometimes You shatter dreams You tear down walls You wake me up when I'm half asleep Just to get to me You shower me when I don't deserve You never hold back anything, no Just to get to me I don't deserve for You to chase me down To call me out, one day I hope to learn How to completely give You all of me, hey Through all the testing You have never left me falling apart I know I'm gonna break Do what it's gonna take to get to my heart If that means You shatter dreams You tear down walls You wake me up when I'm half asleep Just to get to me You shower me when I don't deserve You never hold back anything, no Just to get to me Before I ever had a heart beat Before I even had a name You held my life inside of Your hands Every door that You open And every road that you close Was your plan in motion to make me who I am You shatter dreams, You tear down walls You wake me up when I'm half asleep Just to get to me You shower me when I don't deserve You never hold back anything, no You never hold back You never hold back anything Just to get to me

Help Me Find It:

 It all used to seem so clear I’m finding I can’t do this on my own I don’t know where to go from here As long as I know that You are near I’m done fighting I’m finally letting go I will trust in You You’ve never failed before I will trust in You [Chorus:] If there’s a road I should walk Help me find it If I need to be still Give me peace for the moment Whatever Your will Whatever Your will Can you help me find it Can you help me find it I’m giving You fear and You give faith I'm giving you doubt You give me grace For every step I’ve never been alone Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way Even in the valley I will say With every breath You’ve never let me go I will wait for You You’ve never failed before I will wait for You [Chorus] I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again) Have Your way my King (I give my all to You) I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see) ‘Cause You are all I need [Chorus]

I really need Him to help me find it...whatever it is He has planned